Tome Reader ©

Level 7: Writing re-visited.

(Equipment: None, as if you get to this stage you will be emotionally and physically exhausted and wishing it would stop)

  1. If rewriting amounts to more than three spelling mistakes on p. 107, you will feel that you cannot possibly go back to it, that there is no point as the whole thing is useless and that your life is an endless vista of despair. You will loose the ability to speak, and may cry constantly.
  2. Turn on that computer and re-jig the bloody thing, it is going to be worth it. Spite them by passing (feeling like this about it may motivate you). It isn't true, as they will be delighted that you pass, but the surge of adrenalin anger offers may give you the push you need.
  3. There are now people you will never want to speak to again. (Playing Tome ReaderTM puts a strain on all relationships).
  4. You should not be given any new reading to do at this point.
  5. Entertaining thoughts of violence may also help you motivate yourself.
  6. You will probably have to print the bloody thing out again. I'm sorry, but you will.
  7. You will probably get a demand to re-register and a bill. Try to keep calm.
  8. When you hand it back in, the Ph.D. is very, very, very unlikely to fail. I know that you do not believe me, but it will be fine. They would not have allowed you onto Level 7 in the first place if it was that bad.
  9. You should get notes from the examiners saying what needs to be done. Something scrawled on the back of a ciggy packet is not helpful. (See Level 6, no. 10)
  10. Worse things have happened, honestly.
Next: Level 8 - Recriminations and relief

Next: Level 8
Recriminations and relief  >>