Tome Reader ©
Level 5: Push and Breathe.
(Equipment: You are oblivious to practically everything)
- The writing of a thesis is never finished. The writer is. When you get to the end of your tether for the twentieth time in one morning it means that it is very much time to get the thesis out of the house/office.
- Machinery always lets you down, computers have no sense of timing and printers are vindictive swine who hate you.
- Printing out and getting it bound are mind-blowingly irritating and take more time than you could possibly imagine. Yes, you now have the attention span of a gnat as well as stress, depression and obsessive behaviour.
- The bindery is closed, three copies of the thesis are almost too heavy to carry and your lower back hates you. To top it all, every print shop you go to is full of staff saying "I'm not sure we can help you, as that is rather too large for the largest spiral we've got. Could you divide it into two documents?" If you scream you will hurt your throat, so try to avoid it. The university can recommend someone who will not ask that kind of question, so ask them.
- You now can't think about anything else except the Ph.D., and your fear that it is not good enough and that you will fail. This is natural.
- A Ph.D. is not a book (though it may become one). It does not have to be perfect. Fast, dirty and passed is better than slow, perfect and never submitted. Examiners are unlikely to worry about the comma on p. 39 (well, not to the extent it keeps them awake at night). Fight your desire for it to be perfect before you act.
- Expect to feel relief when you hand it in, not joy. Also expect to feel up, down and sideways (sometimes all at once) without there being any reason for it.
- Submitting the Ph.D. for examination is the beginning of the end. You will not feel like celebrating, but you will get more sleep (at least until Level 6 comes closer).
